Shark Attack Survival Guide with Terry Schappert

Introduction

Terry here is going to assist me in this guide with his pearls of survival wisdom.

"Hi. I'm Terry Schappert. I've survived in some of the most DANGEROUS environments on the planet. In combat, you learn fast that half the battle is knowing how to adapt to your situation. I'm going to examine the worst case scenarios in shark attacks - And how to survive!"

Did I mention Terry Schappert is a United States Army Special Force soldier, a medical sergeant, AND a martial artist?


Cause he is.

note: (All Terry Schappert quotes are actual quotes from the show)!

Scenario #1 : Your boat is on FIRE!

Time to jump ship into the shark infested open ocean before you blow up - as opposed to having chunks of your body bitten off while you struggle to not drown. Obviously the better choose in this scenario.

"QUICK! You only have SECONDS to make decisions that will determine weather you LIVE or DIE!"

Did you make some decisions? Good. Hopefully you had enough survival instinct to calmly assess the situation and analytically toss an object that will decrease your chances of beating eaten alive, into the water, while your boat was capsizing.


No? Well your probably screwed in this case then cause you happen to need THREE things to survive the "critical phase" after an accident like this:
1. Flotation. (You already drowning now)
2. Something to bind your wounds if you have any (hopefully you weren't wearing something silly like a swim suit)
3. A WEAPON (You always bring your weapons with you right? Don't accidentally cut yourself cause you'll actually be making the situation WORSE)

By the way, I hope you weren't fishing or doing any other ocean-related activity, cause this tends to draw the attention of hungry sharks. But even if you weren't doing anything at all. The sound of your boat wreck will attract curious sharks from miles away almost instantly anyway.

"DON'T PANIC. STAY CALM. ANY MISTAKE YOU MAKE WILL COST YOU YOUR LIFE."

You're gonna want an empty water bottle so that you can use it as goggles and keep a look-out for sharks. Hopefully you threw one of those into the water earlier. If you do have one, be sure not to make ANY noise with it, as sharks are ESPECIALLY attracted to plastic bottle noises.

"If your a hard target, the sharks may decide your not worth the trouble." Lets see, you have no flotation device, and no weapon, and I'm willing to bet your spurting blood without even noticing cause your a klutz who cut yourself while jumping into the water... I hardly think your a difficult target at this point. Maybe you should have read this earlier? If you're really lucky, a rescue vessel will find you before you either drown or loose your leg. But I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Scenario #2: OH SH!T. A CHUNK OF ME IS MISSING.

"On the beach in shallow water, you'd think you'd be safe. BUT YOUR WRONG... In a way, sharks are using a military tactic, where they see the enemy, drive it towards a terrain feature, they trap it, go in and *SLAMS FIST INTO HAND* finish em off!" (Yea. He really said/did that.)

When is the water TOO shallow for shark attack?

NEVER. They will follow you all the way up to shore if you taste enough like fish heads. But lucky for you, in such a scenario. You could easily outrun the shark, as it has no legs (assuming you still have yours).

WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO GRAB A SHARK (Just in case someone felt like acting cool, in which case, go ahead Terry).

So how do you handle a situation where you or someone else has been attacked?

"I know these attacks are extremely rare, but as a green beret medic, I know EXACTLY what to do if I see one."
1. Remove yourself from the threat
2. Stop the bleeding. "Dude - give me your t-shirt. Now I'm going to whip out my knife and cut a strip" Again, we're all remembering to carry weapons with us at all times, right?
3. Check to make sure you haven't missed any wounds. Cause sometimes shark bites are easy to miss.
4. Reassure the victim. "HEY DUDE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE TODAY. I GOT YA! IT'S ALL RIGHT BRO. YOU OK MAN?" No, he's not OK. A 10 foot 500 pound fish just chewed him up and spit him out.

"The wound is very similar to what we see in a combat zone.." Really, Terry?.. Really? "Those principles that we use over in Irak and Afghanistan apply right here in the beach!" Ah, yea. I totally forgot you were a soldier. Apparently one that fought sharks in Irak.


Scenario #3: Who would win in a game of tug-of-war. You or the shark?

Am I serious?

Yes I am. Terry is definitely serious. The shark would win, by the way; Now I will needlessly explain why: A shark is about 85% muscle. A human, about 40% "I was kinda thinking I was more like... 60%"

No Terry, you're not some kind of shark hybrid merman.

"With a great white shark, your odds of survival are pretty much zero." That's very comforting. After all, this is a show about survival. "But with these reef sharks, I MIGHT have a fighting chance" Oh well that gives a lot of hope to the rest of us normal people - Wait, fighting chance at what? Just what crazy stunt are you planning now?

"... So to see how hard a shark can pull, we're gonna set up a little tug-of-war. This end of the rope goes around me, and we're attaching a piece of bait to the other end. Then, I'm gonna jump into the shark infested waters."

/facepalm

"Now I've trained with some pretty strong guys, but this is the first time I've every competed with a shark" *GRIN*

This is just plain silly, and not all applicable to any form of survival.

"Understand - He is gonna be relentless, so YOU gotta be relentless too. You're gonna keep fighting until your FREE or you DIE." Thanks, definitely gonna keep that in mind next time I decide to willingly participate in a tug-of-war with a shark.


Scenario #4: What to do if you and a shark are in the same cage.

"So here's a scenario where the victims actually planned to see and interact with the sharks. They believed they were safe."

Yes, you expect to be safe in a metal cage. But you'd be WRONG. To put it simply, a shark can basically torpedo itself into the cage in blind rage. Yes, they are THAT awesome. However, they would then be stuck, unable to create the same amount of momentum to get out.

Not so smart after all, huh shark? You should have thought that one through a little more.

Of course, Terry here is going to reenact this situation, locking himself in a diving cage with a shark, and show us how to survive this "nightmare scenario". He is, of course, wearing chain-mail scuba diving gear, and the cage has a little opening cut out so that Terry can "guide" the shark out of the cage. In real life, however, don't expect there to be a shark-sized opening in the cage. It seems very counterproductive to the cage's sole purpose of keeping you out of danger.

I really think Terry just wants to wrestle with a shark to show us all how cool he is.

"Close combat is my specialty!"

Well guess what Terry? Sharks have more testosterone than any other animal on the planet. That makes sharks MORE MANLY than you!


Conclusion

There really is no winning against a shark.

Shark > You

Though I think we can all agree that (if you encounter and live through such an ordeal) having a massive shark bite scar to show off to people would be insanely kick-ass.