I seriously want ice cream

I'm quite frugal when I'm shopping, at least when I'm low on money. I'll often pass something delicious and say to myself, "NO. I'm going to be responsible and only buy what I need to SURVIVE; Too bad for you, future-self-with-cravings. I'M IN CHARGE HERE. HAHAHA". I'm setting myself up really, cause I know that I'll be too lazy to go out again to buy it later. Usually this works out alright, and I get to feel awesome about my high level of self-discipline.

Sometimes though, this genius plan backfires, and I get the munchies so bad that my brain refuses to function unless I give in to its demands.


Typically, this behavior will emerge by the time evening has fallen and it's dark outside. Which is why I use the term "backfire", because had it been at a godly hour, it would not be such a dilemma. But you see, I really don't like the dark.

This puts me in a very emotionally distressing situation. I NEED to appease my brain's appetite, but I'm too scared to go outside. What? It's totally normal to be afraid of the dark. DON'T JUDGE ME. There are serial killers and rapists out there. And possibly bears. I live in Norway after all, I'm practically in the wilderness. And it doesn't help that I'm nearsighted and everything is blurry an arms length in front of me.

Here's a fairly accurate depiction of how I experience walking outside by myself at night:

Someone suggested that by wearing as many layers of clothes and coats as possible, I could possibly ward off bears as they would mistake me for being an even LARGER bear. It also has the added bonus of making me less of a desirable target to potential rapists. At first, I though this was a great idea, but the flaws eventually surfaced. The bear could very well take it as a CHALLENGE and wish to flaunt its dominance over me. Not to mention the ineffectiveness on threats of the paranormal sort.

So I didn't go out, and could not cater to the needs of my advanced brain. Instead, I sat the entire evening exuding unproductivitity (Why is that not a word??)

Nothing is quite as scary as darkness in your own home though. Because it inevitably has to be dealt with. When adventuring downstairs, it's usually just a simple matter of turning the lights on. The way back up is what's challenging, because then I have to turn the lights OFF, leaving me vulnerable until I can get back upstairs to safety of my illuminated room.

My usual tactic for this is, after turning off the last light, SPRINT up the stairs as fast as possible, before anything can emerge from the darkness to snatch me. In doing this, I usually freak myself out even more because I'm literally running away, which in my mind, confirms that there's obviously something to run from in the first place.

I am a mentally sane person, by the way.

The there's the basement. Not only is it dark, its UNDER THE GROUND. Just like hell. Except there's no fire to keep the darkness out, and as a result it's also really fucking cold.
And I'm positive that something is down there. Which is why I never venture into the basement unless it's an absolute necessity (like I'm out of clean underwear cause I've been avoiding doing laundry cause the washing machine is down there), and even then, I take safety precautions such as only going in broad daylight.

There's not really a happy way to end this post.

Here's a cute little hamster.